I've been taking a long, careful look at my blog lately. And I have to say: I'm not satisfied. I'm not a huge fan of what my blog has morphed into. My blog has become a constant question of "what can I teach people today," which is all well and good. But I'm running out of things to teach. How can I keep writing posts on productivity when I spend at least half an hour on Pinterest a day and miss deadlines and have a messy bedroom sometimes? I've created this identity for myself as an "expert" in the things I blog about + that's just not fair. I'm not an expert in design, productivity, even music.
When I first started blogging, it was all about me. I posted pictures of myself, recaps of my weekends, long posts on what I was thinking about or worried about. But no one was reading my blog then. No one cared to read about my conversation with a friend or what was good or terrible about my day. And I get that; I'm not complaining. I don't blame anyone on the internet for not caring about my mundane day-to-days.
And so I've been teaching, because that's what people like to read. People like to read about how I design or stay productive. But I feel like I've been missing the personality, the genuine Allie-ness that used to emanate from my blog. I feel like I've been acting like someone I'm not, at least not completely. Some part of me truly is a teacher. I like spreading knowledge + getting it from others. But when I found that people preferred reading those kinds of posts, that became all I posted.
We bloggers love to say that we only blog for ourselves. As if our blogs are our private journals that people just happen to read. But I would be lying if I said that my content doesn't revolve around my stats. If people like a post, you bet I'll post more of it. If people don't...well, it's less of a priority. And although many bloggers may not want to admit this, I love pageviews--and that's not a bad thing. I love knowing that I have people reading the words that I spend hours writing down. I revel in that. But I feel that I worry about my pageviews at the expense of creating a haven of honesty, friendship, and vibrancy in my blog.
I've felt to very out-of-touch with the blogging community as of late. All of my time goes to planning content, drafting posts or editing images. I honestly don't spend time commenting on other blogs, tweeting at my favorite bloggers or collaborating anymore. It's been months since I wrote a guest post.
But, friends, I want to change. I want to be more genuine and real and (remember my word of the year?!) open. I don't want to have to choose between pageviews and accurately representing myself but it seems I might have to. But the community here in blogging is important enough that I'm going to do just that.
So consider this an announcement of sorts: this will be changing. Much of my blog content will be the same. But much will change. I want to show all of me on the blog--not just my "design, productivity, music, positivity + science," aka my five topics here on CMS. I'll be opening up about what it's like to start transitioning for college + preparing for a four-year long distance relationship. I want to talk about my struggles with anxiety and staying in shape and being the lone introvert in a family of extroverts. I'm going to talk about what I actually do--and not just how I do it faster or more productively.
I want to breathe life into this blog again. And if it's at the price of pageviews, so be it.
I really would love to hear your thoughts on this. Please leave me a comment--how often do you blog about personal things? How do you maintain a balance between blogging for stats + blogging for you?
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