On Forgiveness When It Totally Sucks

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October 07, 2015

Recently, I was trying to sell a ticket to one of my school's football games. Students get discounted ticket but I wanted to sell it for more. Tickets were going for six times as much as we paid for them, so I figured if I could get double or triple, I'd be very happy. To me, it would be an excuse for a little shopping trip or a few meals out with friends. 

However, as I was chatting with people trying to find a buyer, I met a girl who didn't like the price that I was hoping for. But she didn't just not like the price. She decided she didn't like me. And she made that very clear to me. She attacked me with her words in all the places it hurt. 

She told me I was selfish.

She told me I wasn't a real Christian. 

She told me I wasn't a kind person.

All things that I regularly worry about myself. I'm human + it's easy to feel like I'll never be good enough. It's hard to have someone confirm those inner doubts to you. 

But then I remembered:

This girl doesn't know me. And I don't know her. She doesn't know what kind of impact her words are having on my heart, but I don't know what kind of an impacted heart those words came from. I can't imagine what kind of sadness and stress someone must be living in to lash out over the price of a football ticket. 

And so I'll pray for her. I don't mean this in a proper Southern lady way where I actually mean that I'll gossip about her to my small group (although I admit, I did vent about the occurrence to some friends). I mean that I'll actually try to love her. 

I don't want to. I want to reply with all of the angry, defensive words that appeared in my brain scarily quickly, like a reflex. 

But I will try. Because if Christ died for me and my sins, the least I can do is forgive a girl who's trying to wade her way through all the hurts in the world just like I am. 

And ticket girl? In case you're reading this...let's get lunch. I'll pay. 

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